Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Vicodin, Percocet, Oxycontin

"Painkiller Addiction" is one of the most insidious and prevalent addictions that exist today in America. Doctors prescribe synthesized forms of heroin, most commonly in the forms of brand names Vicodin, Percocet, and Oxycontin. The generics are Hydrocodone or Oxycodone.

Science has no better way of controlling pain then opium. Nearly all of my readers has been prescribed some form of these painkillers throughout the course of their lives. And you have all been no doubt very thankful for them. I know I certainly was 3 years ago when I had my lower wisdom teeth out...the oral surgeon had to slice open my gums and it was painful for about 2 weeks. Without my painkillers I would have been seriously hurting.

But there is a magical side effect to this pills, it makes you feel fantastic. I will try to describe the feeling for my readers....The first time I took one was for my vasectomy I believe. So I am in bakersfield recovering, I have my Johnny Carson Box set, my ice pack, and a bottle of Vicodin I popped the first one and here is how it went....

A peaceful feeling of relaxation gradually descended on me, almost like I was melting into my mattress, I remember feeling like I was on a cloud....Simultaneously a warm tingling sensation started coming up my spine, to my cranium, then shivering over my face, down my torso, my arms, and my hands "felt like two balloons" I was definitely comfortably numb. It was amazing folks, I can't sugar coat it. I have never done any drugs in my life other than Alcohol (which absolutely is a drug) and opiod pills prescribed to me. The pills were 30 times better than than two glasses of red wine after a perfectly cooked steak, and that's saying something!

And that is the reason why Elvis, Anna Nicole smith, Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger, Corey Haim died, and (Rush Limbaugh lost his hearing) etc. etc.

Please scientists, make a non addictive form of painkiller for us!!


Brett said...

That would be great, but I don't know if it is going to happen. If they synthesize something as effective, how could it not be addictive? But since we're telling stories, here's what my experience was like:

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she's gone.

Garrett said...

I liked when I saw plasticine porters with looking glass ties

Grandma Dee said...

He said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy.

Do you think Lucy was in the sky with diamonds? Love the Beatles' records.